olive trees

245 days ago

Report from the Greek Hovel: God is a mercurial chap

Yesterday I lamented how my 250 olive trees needed a drink as it had not rained all month . As it happens it almost never rains here in the Mani in August but I am sure that the lack of rain will be attributed to global warming by the BBC’s Verify unit. On Friday, God provided a brief shower and we said thanks. Today… wow.

---

246 days ago

Photo from the Greek Hovel - God answers our prayers

Or at least those of our olive trees I mentioned earlier. Yes it has rained. Not heavily but its a start. The top photo is from the balcony decking. The second is of the dark clouds higher up in the mountains behind us. We are promised more rain today and tomorrow. It is still easily hot enough to swim but my poor trees are getting a drink which is the main thing, as I explained this morning.

 

---

321 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel - my olive trees from Greece are all alive!

You may remember that I brought five edible olive trees ( as opposed to olive oil, olive trees) back from Greece in my car last year. I planted them at the top of the top field which goes from the new orchard up to the graveyard. I had feared that a cold Welsh winter had killed them off. But….

---

474 days ago

Photo article from the two hovels - the olives are cured

My fellow harvester T had some doubts as to my method of curing olives but ye of little faith.

---

571 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel - a little bit of Greece takes root (I hope)

At last the olive trees I smuggled back from Greece in the bottom of the car, have a new home here in Wales. My friend R whizzed his tractor round the edge of the upper field that borders the churechard two weeks ago. The jury is out on the chestnut and mulberry trees I planted at the far end and bottom last year. There are signs of life but not many. That hot summer when I was away in Greece, so could not water them, may have proved fatal. If so I shall try again next year.

---

739 days ago

Photo Article from the Greek Hovel - a cloudy morning means no Albanian help

It is not smoke from the burning season; it is a mist rising from the valley floor, and clouds coming down from the mountains above us. I wake up, once again, to find that we have enjoyed a night of rainfall. Although good for the olive trees, it will make the mud track a bit of a challenging drive.

---

884 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel: After I murdered the last Christmas tree a new one arrives

The man from the place where I buy all my trees, fruit bushes and seeds for the garden greeted me as Tom today as I walked in with Jayarani, after the young mums group run by my wife’s church, to buy some more blueberry bushes. This is a big advance from knowing me as the chap who lives at a place he still referred to by the name of the old, asbestos dumping,owners. Progress. Yesterday he dropped round a new Christmas tree.

---

930 days ago

Photo article from the Welsh Hovel - New Trees, will Miss North West Charity Eleanor Farr come help plant them?

Unlike Eleanor I do not want 50p from you to help plant a tree.  Nor do I want to cover the whole of Wales and much of England with trees in the misguided belief that this will save the planet. Instead I just buy my own trees with my own money to make this place where I live a better place. Here are the latest two which will soon be joining the 22 tree new orchard I have created on the upper field above the barns.

---

1098 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - a surprise windfall for me will pay for 150 olive trees and a lot of ouzo

I discuss that surprise windfall, the Mrs getting her jab and look at Wildcat (WCAT), MyHealthChecked (MHC), Versarien (VRS) and Vast Resources (VAST).

---

1347 days ago

The Greek Hovel August 2020: Day 7 sees a shock at Kitries & the wildlife diversity report

As we neared the end of our first week, we thought we’d take our guest, Uncle Johnny who is in fact nobody’s Uncle, to Kitries as a treat. This tiny harbour is the closest to Kambos, about half an hour’s drive down a winding road, and has two restaurants at either end of the cove. A week later would have been the busiest weekend of a Greek August but this Friday would, in a normal year, have seen the seafront packed with well-oiled and, usually, overweight bodies. It was shocking.

---

1845 days ago

Photo Article from the Greek Hovel - good news and bad

George the Architect sends over photos from the Greek Hovel where there is good news and bad.

---

1866 days ago

Photo Article from the Greek Hovel - take heart Olaf, work on your swimming pool accelerates

Don't the skies look glorious above the Greek Hovel? How I wish I was there to see the little snakes emerge after their winter sleep. The weather is improving and thus a digger has made it up the track and so work on the swimming pool for daughter Olaf is, as you can see, accelerating. George the Architect assures me that the olive trees we had to move, about seven, are being watered every day and are recovering well. All is good...

---

1891 days ago

Photo article: meanwhile back at the Greek Hovel

George the architect has made it up to the Greek Hovel for the start of the spring campaign to completion. He will take a few days out in March to come to England/Wales to help draw up plans for the Welsh hovel. But for now it is full steam ahead in Greece. Or rather not.

---

1977 days ago

Biblical photo article from the Greek Hovel: life after death, the tree of life and a sinner (well his brother) repents

You may remember that two olive trees had to be moved to allow the hovel to be extended. One perished quickly. The other one appeared to be at death's door by the summer. Thus I applied the sort of fertilizer only a man can apply at every opportunity and as you can see below... it is a sea of green. It has made it. I am not sure if it will bear any olives next year but the fightback has begun. 

---

2061 days ago

Photo Article: The Long view of the Greek Hovel

The back road to Kambos starts with a sharp right turn ( if you are heading towards the hovel) at the bottom of monastery hill and is truly terrible. It is narrow and in places the potholes are as large as the road. I have only ever driven up it on a motorbike, including on the occasion when my bike killed a snake. But now and again I drive down it in a car. It starts just past the big modern church at the top of Kambos village and after passing a couple of houses and a small church heads down steeply to the bottom of the valley., snake

---

2110 days ago

Photo article from the Greek Hovel - the stone (not brick) bathroom takes shape

As I arrived at the Greek Hovel on Sunday I was surprised to find the two elderly men employed by Gregori the snake killer hard at work. They sat under the shade of a large olive tree hammering away at stones to make them the right size and shape for use. Following my "ban the shiny modern bricks" edict those stones are now being used to build the bathroom in the master bedroom, the bottom floor of the new wing.

---

2110 days ago

Photo article from the Greek Hovel - yes this really is the view from the main door

Of course there is not a door there yet or a roof, nor have the walls of the kitchen been plastered and it does not have any windows but....

---

2116 days ago

Photo article: Bloody Bricks and an all parties meeting at the Greek Hovel

Once before I arrived at the Greek Hovel to find workmen proudly admiring a construction made of brand new shiny bricks. Much to their pleasure I had it torn down, an extra days work for them. I rather assumed that the message had got through. You can imagine my horror when arriving at the hovel yesterday to find piles of shiny new bricks in the new wing and the rat room. Cripes!

---

2155 days ago

Farewell to the Greek Hovel & Kambos - 240 trees and out

I have just enjoyed a cracking lunch of beef in tomato sauce and peas at Miranda's in Kambos. Actually it is not called Miranda's any more as it has a new owner but I stick with the old name. The prices have not changed. That will be 5 Euro. 

---

2156 days ago

Photo Article - the view from Miranda's: nice weather for Ducks

I am under instructions from David Bick not to complain about the weather here in Kambos. And I should say that it is 30 degrees right now and I am dripping with sweat having pruned another thirty olive trees up at the Greek Hovel. I am on my second litre of water as I enjoy a late lunch at Miranda's in Kambos and recover from my labours. Yesterday I was in the same place at the same time having completed my manual labour for the day and the heavens opened. This was the view....

---

2159 days ago

Photo Article from the Greek Hovel - heading into snake territory, olive pruning update

I have grossly underestimated the number of olive trees that sit on the land at the Greek Hovel. Yesterday and today I upped my quota to thirty so I have now pruned 160 which is what I thought we had. I was very wrong. But i now enter what I deem the land of the snake.

---

2163 days ago

Photo article: Olaf it's here! The first eco-loo lands at the Greek Hovel

As you may have gathered, both the Mrs and daughter Olaf have suggested that lavatories are a bit of an issue at the Greek Hovel. Both are unconvinced about my solution of eco-loos. Well girls, prepare to be shocked. The first eco-loo, made by the same chap who crafts the doors and the Bat Room Bed which has also arrived, has landed as you can see below.

---

2163 days ago

Photo Article - my 20 a day complete I ponder how many olive trees does the Greek Hovel actually have?

I am horrified by how much pruning is needed on some of our olive trees. It is as if they have not been "cleaned, as they say here, for years. But this is just one season's growth. Maybe I have Alzheimer's but I really do not remember it being this hard other than in year one when Foti the Albanian and I tackled trees that had not been pruned in eons.

---

2165 days ago

Back at the Greek Hovel - snake report: two more corpses

When I am in England I do not think much about snakes. Okay, three times a week I pick Joshua up from his nursery and he says "snakes" so, on the way home, we pop into Pets At Home and go to see the snakes. They are tiny little creatures, corn snakes, which nearly always hide in their houses and only rarely peek out. When they do, Joshua gets very excited. Most of the time we see no snakes so Joshua just says "bye bye snakes" and we head on past the fish where Joshua says "fish," past the hamsters and gerbils where he says "mice", and to the rabbits where he says "By Bye Babbits" and we head home. And I think nothing of it.

---

2230 days ago

Photos from the Greek Hovel - at last it is starting to take real shape

George the Architect has been in touch with an update on progress at the Greek Hovel and, as you can below, see there really has been progress. The rat room extension walls are underway and the new wing of the house which will double the floor space is now also starting to take shape. George says the door to the bat room is on its way and it will be habitable within two weeks. The rest of the hovel is still on track to be finished by September, after just 51 months!

---

2349 days ago

Photo Report from the Greek Hovel - the olive harvest is a disaster for the whole village

I wandered up to the Greek Hovel this morning and saw, at once, that something was not quite right. Yes there were olives on the trees as you can see below but not vast numbers. 

---

2384 days ago

Would you Adam and Eve it? Breakthrough at the Greek Hovel it is all systems go

It has only taken three and a bit years but the final planning consent has now arrived. We can now start putting a roof on the Greek Hovel and extending it to more than double its original size. George the architect has been in touch and it is all systems go. However, there are, Greece being Greece, a few minor issues.

---

2508 days ago

Photo Article: Maybe not see you in a Greek Court Bitchez - as Paddy says, 1% of Greeks are bastards

After quizzing George the architect, it appears that it is just one of my neighbours who is asking for 900 Euro compensation for chopping off branches on his olive trees to make way for the heavy machinery needed to renovate the Greek Hovel. In fact it is even better than that...

---

2510 days ago

Diary of a diabetic - day whatever: in normal range, but its see you in a Greek Court Bitchez!

You will remember that back in early April my blood sugars measured 15.3 and I was told that my type 2 diabetes was raging out of control. It has been a long slog since then as I have aimed to get into a target range of 5 to 7. Whatever that means.

---

2517 days ago

Photo article: Two new olive trees emerge and the Greek Hovel as have my babies!

What a delight it was to be among the olive trees yesterday. the first treat was to go an investigate two new trees that no-one has seen for years. They were enclosed in a patch of dense frigana bushes with some large frigana trees there for good measure. Previous owner vile Athena had chucked a stack of wire into this mess meaning that I have never been able to tackle it with my strimmer. It was too dense to poison and anyhow I was convinced it was home to numerous snakes so I gave it a wide berth.

---

2526 days ago

Sitting in a garden centre in Bristol I dream of the snake repellent shop in Kambos

The plants the Mrs and I have planted in our back garden have almost all suffered death by cat defecation. That is to say my fat, though no longer morbidly obese, three legged cat Oakley hads shat them into oblivion. And so during my brief UK visit I have led a drive to re-plant. To complete that task the Mrs, Joshua and I headed to a garden centre here in Bristol today. Before stopping to pick up a few herbs (me0 and some flowers (the Mrs) we sat enjoying an expensive coffee and watched the masses head by.

---

2535 days ago

Photo Article from the Greek Hovel: At the snake house - pruning THAT tree at last

I have been pruning olive trees at the Greek Hovel for four years now. But there is one tree that has almost entirely escaped my attention until now, the one that lies within the outer ring of stones of the abandoned ruin on our property, a.k.a. the snake house.

---

2555 days ago

Photo Article: Frigana Poisoning at the Greek Hovel - Part 2

You may remember that George the Architect is a little nervous about chopping down non olive trees which the forestry survey may have identified at the Greek Hovel. On the other hand Nicho the Communist regards these snake shelters as an obstruction to the basic human right of every Greek to plant as many olive trees as possible on his land. I am with Nicho.

---

2555 days ago

Photo Article Part 1 - Poisoning at the Greek Hovel with Nicho the Communist

As he had promised my friend Nicho the Communist returned to the Kourounis taverna after half an hour and so shortly before eleven, two hours after we planned, we were ready to start poisoning the frigana, the ghastly snake hiding thorn bushes, that blight the Greek Hovel. Shall we go in my car I asked? 

---

2624 days ago

Photo Article: Fertilizing the olive trees at the Greek Hovel

Fear not there are not any pictures of my fertilizing olive trees as only a man can do. Although I have assisted a few of my little darlings in this way over the past few days. This is the formal process with George the Albanian, his Mrs and myself in a team of three.

---

2855 days ago

Is the Mrs reading Grazia Magazine grounds for divorce?

Back in the UK I sit at my desk looking out on a quiet surburban road. It is all very different to the view from the rough table at which I write at the Greek Hovel. I see people, cars and neat brick walls rather than olive trees, sheep, the abandoned monastery and the wild of the Mani countryside. Here in Bristol, I also spot in a magazine rack next to my desk a copy of Grazia magazine.

---

2863 days ago

A cooling breeze and much wanted rain at the Greek Hovel

I was woken today by the sound of heavy thunder in the tall hills to my far right and in front of me. There was no lightening and it has now abated but in those hills dark clouds still loom, indeed a fog of rain clouds are now covering those slopes directly in front of me obscuring my view. Behind me, and to my left, in the Taygetos mountains there are also dark rain clouds evident. After day after day of 40 degree heat or worse this is such a break.

---

2880 days ago

Thunderstorms and flooding in the UK and here in Greece: Brexit must be to blame

I gather that back in the UK you have all had a spot of bother with thunderstorms and tornados. Has David Cameron managed to blame a surge in support for Brexit yet? Just watch out little people, if you back Boris and Priti you are all going to drown and here are a list of 100 experts who support that claim. Okay 98 of them are on the EU payroll in some way, shape or form but they are frigging experts and you are little people who cant be trusted to make your own minds up. So either start building an ark or vote the right way!

As it happens the mountains above Kardamili are also covered in dark clouds

---

2882 days ago

How many frigging olive trees does the Mrs own? I now prune into uncharted and snake intense territory

When the Mrs bought the Greek Hovel we were told that there were around 120-150 olive trees here. A few are wild so bear no fruit but still we had a lot of trees. I am now convinced that the number is far greater as I navigate the far reaches of the land. I do so more conscious than ever, after yesterday, that I am not alone as I work.

---

2885 days ago

Back at the Greek Hovel ...brown is the new green

Ten days ago I was, via lovely Eleni, telling the shepherd about the lush green grass up at the hovel and urging him to bring his flock up to graze lest they miss out. When I see him next I shall be begging him to bring his sheep up out of pity. The green grass has almost gone. Almost everything is brown.

Driving up the grass track to the house I was horrified. It was as if the whole area had been affected by a great heat. But as it happens that is exactly what has happened. Down by the sea at Kalamata today it is 33 degrees. Up at the hovel it is over thirty. It is wonderful weather to work in but the grass is burning away. 

The purple flowers, 

---

2910 days ago

Amazing news from Greece - we have a forestry permit for the Greek Hovel, next step... a bribe?

It was meant to take three months but took closer to a year but who cares? We now have a forestry permit received for the Greek Hovel. It seems that I failed to (illegally) cut down a few wild olive trees but most of my good works of the summer before last in clearing 2000 square metres of frigana have not been noticed and so we can now.....

---

3257 days ago

An English couple walk in to the Kourounis taverna in Kambos

After a hard day at the PC and in the field, braving the snakes to poison frigana, I plan to spend a relaxing evening at the Kourounis taverna in my home village of Kambos. Lovely Eleni has made me a Greek salad covered with herbs and drizzled with home produced olive oil and so far it is just coke zeros but I may allow myself an ouzo later. In the village where we have no tourists it is just me and the regulars. They chat. I tap away on my PC and say Yassas and Kale-nichta as required.

But an English couple has just walked in. 

---

3546 days ago

Photo article: The eco-friendly Humanure Pit is ready for action at the Greek Hovel

I have already shown you photos of my self-built eco-loo at the Greek Hovel. Now for part two the Humanure pit. Sadly someone half-inched the two posts I had purchased to corner this up so I shall now have to buy four posts at some stage soon. But the base pit is sufficient for now.

It has been built entirely out of wood found on the property (of which I am proud) and is located just outside the outer snake free redoubt. However one of the snake repellent canisters is nearby so it should be in a relatively safe zone.

The theory is simple. You deposit a bucket of humanure – that is human waste plus loo paper, plus the flowers we throw in after use to remove odours. On top of that

---

3575 days ago

Report from the Greek Hovel 9 – Foti and I go into the Olive Business: hard Manual labour begins

According to my new best friend Foti the Greek Hovel yields about half a tonne of olives a year. But we have plans to expand that greatly.  There are a couple of very low yielding trees that will perish once we reach the burning season and post-harvest, in December. And there are some gaps where we can plant new trees. 

But more importantly the trees have been neglected for years and need some TLC. That means applying manure in December post the harvest and pruning them back now. And so at 8 AM this morning Foti and a friend arrived for work and I insisted that I joined them. The friend headed off in one direction with a saw on a long pole and Foti grabbed a small handsaw and olive axe (a small axe about a foot long) and strode off in the other direction. I followed Foti glad that any snakes disturbed would meet him first.

Given that Foti speaks no English and me very little Greek communication is an issue. He speaks to me in Greek and I reply in English with neither of us gaining great knowledge from the conversation but in a strange way we understand each other completely. And so I watched the master to learn the science of olive tree pruning.

Essentially

---

3575 days ago

Report from the Greek Hovel 8 – The rubbish starts to go and Meet Foti

Sunday may be a day of rest for some but not for myself or my new best friend, Foti the Albanian. Foti is also my new business partner. We have agreed that the net proceeds from the olive trees will be split 50/50 on the basis that he does the work. I have insisted that I be allowed to do my part as you will see.

Foti speaks not a word of English. And I speak almost no Greek. So he speaks to me in Greek which I do not understand. I reply in English which he does not understand. On that basis we muddle along fine.

And so Sunday evening saw Foti and his pal arrive in a pickup truck to remove years and tears of rubbish. Broken chairs, rusted bed frames, empty drums and tins and piping: I have got the lot in the two first floor rooms: Grandpa’s bedroom (earth floor, broken window, rat friendly door) and the one below the snake veranda.

I am not asking too many questions about where the rubbish is going but am assured that it will remain in a safe place until October when we can once again light fires here legally. We piled the truck high as you can see. I reckon there are now only about five more loads to go. One day at a time…

---